A Change in Plans

So, I might not be able to graduate on time. I almost had quite the panic attack on Friday morning, and it's the closest I've come in awhile to actually calling someone up for support. Yeah, I just tend not to do that kind of thing. So, I tried to spend this entire spring break studying for said comps (comprehensive exams, btw), and I found no desire whatsoever. I made an effort, but the effort failed. I burned out. I didn't think it would happen to me, to tell you the truth. I am tired of school. I am tired of having to draw up these (forgive me!) stupid conductor's analyses for these pieces where it makes perfect sense in my mind just to look at the score. Don't get me wrong, I think it is very important to sit down with a piece of music and make sure you know what's going on and have an authority and command that you can express to the other musicians. I'm just tired of school.

I want to have a job where I am teaching or performing music with kids or adults or something where I don't have to know off the top of my head why Handel decided to set his fugal pattern one measure off between the voice parts. I just want to watch and listen to the rain today, but I'll be working on a presentation for my philosophy class about Theodor Adorno. I refuse to talk anymore about this man. I'm just so tired of school.

So yeah, I meet with my professors on Monday and I am thinking that I will take my comps over the summer sometime and graduate in August. This way, I won't have to walk. I would like to do it for my parents, but do you realize how much graduation robes cost? It's ridiculous! Perhaps God has ordained this delay for a reason, too. I don't know, but I'm sure I'll find out soon enough. I've asked for patience, and God is just throwing me opportunities right and left.

In other news, my brother is coming up next week to visit me for his spring break. I'm so happy to be able to spend time with him here, although I'm nervous about his driving over the mountains to get to Greensboro. Pray for safe travel. I'm reading through Romans now, and it's heavy stuff. When I have more time for blogging, I'll speak some of my mind on Scripture. Off to work.