"Oh, you're single? What a tragedy!"

Paul says in his first letter to the Corinthians, after explaining some pitfalls and concessions of marriage:

"Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion..." (this next part talks about marriage/divorce of believers and unbelievers, an important topic but not entirely relevant to this post) "...Was any man called when he was already circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised. Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God. Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called. Were you called while a slave? Do not worry about it; but if you are able also to become free, rather do that. For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord's freedman; likewise he who wa scalled while free, is Christ's slave. You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. Brethren, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called. Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not posess; and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away. But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things fo the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the thing sof the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord. But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better. A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God." (1 Corinthians 5:7-9, 18-40)

This is a tough passage of Scripture. Obviously, a good portion of this Paul talks about "[his] opinion." It's one of the few times that I can actually see myself arguing with Paul, as he admits his bias and uses it in his language (v. 37 especially). Sure, we have to take into account that Paul is kind of on his own personal soapbox here. We also have to consider the cultural stipulations in this context (the fathers giving away their virgin daughters and such). Obviously, the church in Corinth was having some issues with this topic. So how do I approach it? Well, I really don't know. One thing is for sure: I can't ignore it; I can't just toss this particular passage away. Admittedly, Paul "also [has] the Spirit of God." None can deny. So, what then? How do I apply these tidbits from a guy genuinely interested in my well-being (as a member of the universal church)?

Well, I'll tell you this much. It seems as though I go home for a week, and now a new standard has been set. When I would talk to my mom on the phone it used to be: 1) How's school?, 2) How's your health?, and 3) How's the finances?. Well, they're all ok, but number 4 has now been added: 4) What about that girl?. Well, folks, there is no girl, and then the follow up questions come. Oh, there could be a girl. I've had several offers, though most were not directly from the female in question. My guess is that yes, there could be a girl, but probably not for very long. Ah, well. I suppose I'm just venting some frustrations. If I had a son (whoa, slow down) I'd probably say the same things. "So, son, failed to woo a woman, eh?" That's exactly what I'd say. I guess my parents are just nice about it.

I do think a lifetime of celibacy is a gift. I think a lifetime of marriage is a gift. I think grace is an amazing gift. I think every single day, every breath in which my intercostals pull back and forth on my ribcage allowing air to rush in and out of my lungs is a gift. However, like so many gifts, I'm not sure that everyone who has it knows it. I'm also not sure that, just like everything else, you have to be 100% sure (or even 37%, for that matter) if you want to prepare for that kind of life. By the way, what is the difference between preparing for singlehood and preparing for marriage? How does that differ from constantly seeking God through the Word and loving other people? If it's alright with everyone, I'm going to work on my other issues (you have MORE?), like living my faith out through works, as James suggests. If marriage does come up anytime soon (and please don't get me wrong, I really would love to share my life with a woman who is after God's heart, I have no fleshly desire to be single, and if I've got "the gift" I am completely unaware), I'll pull out my Joshua Harris books once again (if anyone is prepared for courtship, I better be number 1) and try that whole thing once again. Well, with that said, I'll leave you with the thoughts of Rich Mullins (I don't think he realized that he had "the gift" either):

"It's one of the things I love about being single, everybody always goes, 'Oh, you're single? What a tragedy!' And I'm kind of like, 'Well, yeah, you know, from about 10-2 every evening it is a tragedy, but that time is a tragedy for most married people as well.' One of the great advantages of being single is you can still pick up hitchhikers. If you're married, you don't wanna get, you know, slit or anything, so you gotta, cause you got a family to support. If you're single and you die it doesn't really matter, so you're free to do anything you want to do. I love that!"